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This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, Ph D.

Chloe Carmichael, Ph D is a licensed clinical psychologist who runs a successful private practice in New York City, focusing on relationship issues, stress management, and career coaching.

I want to choose one to focus on because it’s getting quite hectic at work again. You are exploring the dating scene, and keeping your options open. You can date as many people at one time as you choose. ) Yes, dating doesn’t make you decide on one person. One of them will emerge, and when it’s time to consider a relationship I’m sure one of them will ask you, and that is when you can decide if a relationship is what you want at that time.

It’s seeing multiple people and enjoying multiple encounters as you desire. What you do like is his money and what he can do for you, like the trips, and dinners. If you are willing to put up with all this just so you can get nice dinners, trips, and little trinkets, then you are shallow. So, enjoy the outings, help him improve on the sex, and curb his rudeness and call him out on it. Until then, neither has asked you to be his woman, so stop fretting, and stop thinking you have to make a choice.

You’re not paranoid if you think men are most drawn to you when you’re taken.

It may seem like a good idea to take him as your date to your best friend’s wedding, or bring him along for a weekend visit to your parent’s town, but these things say to him “she wants me to be an integral part of her life.” Sorry but, grab a male friend to be your date to the wedding, and visit the parents solo, as boring as it may be.

You have decided, after a number of dates, that you want to build a future with that person. Enjoy the company, and what each one brings to the table. Don’t be so eager to get rid of him for circumstances that are out of his control.

You and that person feel that you would be great partners together, and you have strong feelings for one another. You like being one-on-one with that person and vice-versa. The first guy seems great, but he just doesn’t have any money to do great and extraordinary things like the second guy. You’re not making him your man, and he hasn’t asked you to be his woman. The other guy likes to wine and dine you, which you enjoy.

And you certainly don’t want them to look shocked when you show up with a date on one night, and then show up to another important event with someone else.

Tell them you’re dating multiple guys ahead of time so they can play it cool.

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But, it can be hard to keep track of it all, and you can start to lose touch with your own sense of grounding.

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