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Now is the time to educate her and talk about her hopes and thoughts on intimacy and risks involved... sayin I didn't have a pre-determined age for my daughter dating (she is now 18 and a freshman in college).
Fortunately, she was WAY too busy with softball and school to even think about dating until her Junior year.
I don't think that dating at 13 is as innocent as you think.
So my daughter was happy until the boy started to get a little possessive, wanted to be with her before school, and at both lunch and break.
I think your attitude is "right on." She is dating on training wheels.
This is a perfect time for her to start to figure things out and for you to guide her.
However the "relationship" goes, it will end with trouble.
I am with you on allowing "dating" but I also had a friend who, like your friend, didn't permit it.