Dating as a christian

It would’ve been nice if my newfound self-awareness had produced a boyfriend who carried a gold-edged Bible in his backpack and had abs that caused Mary to weep all over again, but in reality, it drastically reduced the pool of eligible men.

And that already limited supply is actually even smaller than it seems, because there are a lot of men — like Vinnie the cop — who list Christianity as their religion on dating apps, but only mean it vaguely.

Even though we’re following Jesus, and reading the same Bible, and aiming for the covenant of marriage, our dating advice can be surprisingly wide and diverse.

Right after breaking up with James, I wrote in the “Things I’m Looking For” section of my OKCupid profile: “I’m interested in finding someone who is actively pursuing God and lives out their Christianity in practical, meaningful ways.” Now, the statement has been watered down to: “I’m interested in dating a Christian dude.” I don’t know yet if my commitment to finding someone who shares my faith is setting me up for loneliness in the long run, but I do know this: Love requires us to lay out our insecurities as offerings, unsure whether they’ll be accepted or rejected.As they crossed the street, Vinnie asked if they were co-workers. “We go to the same church.” He didn’t reply, leaving my words to hang in the air between us.The awkwardness was still there when he bent down to give me a stiff parting hug at my train’s turnstile. This sort of thing has become a trend in my dating life: I meet someone who seems funny, smart, and interesting.The first rule in dating is the first rule in all of life: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark ).You will not truly love anyone else if you do not love God first and most.

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But I had a role in our problems, too, namely my selfish desire for him to convert.

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